Monday, June 2, 2008

Hot Mama


Our bitchin friends Emily and Tony sent us a pregnancy gift!  It is a delightful little book called: Hot Mama- how to have a babe and be a babe. I thought I would share with you some of my favorite insights. Hopefully this isn't too graphic for the boys- but I know you moms, soon to be moms, hopeful moms or women in general might enjoy these tidbits. 
- Sperm hits egg. then the hormones kick in and one day you wake up with the boobs you've always dreamed of. 
- Then there comes the day when you glimpse your backside in the full- length mirror and gasp in shock. 
- Voluptuousness is next to goddessness
- from porcupine to sex kitten in just a month- I won't go into details but this chapter is good. 
- In Japan, husbands give their pregnant wives a traditional massage called tai kya. They press on special shiatsu points on their wife's belly while yelling commands at the baby such as "jump up and down!" or "Roll over!" The Japanese believe that this helps the baby recognize the parents' voices an accept their authority. --wow... this sounds so relaxing. what a treat for their pregnant wives! 
-after you have the baby- don't forget to use birth control. If you do forget, then I advise you to turn back to the first page and start reading this again. 

Thanks Emily. You are great. It was such a nice surprise in our mailbox! I've been checking out black bridesmaid dresses to wear to your wedding all day. Not much luck for "curvy" woman like me (or how I will be in October) but I'll find one. 
Oh! and the baby update of the week- Our baby is now the size of a 
G R A P E 
Other exciting happenings in the life of our baby include the forming of the 4 chambers of the heart, tiny little teeth and now the sex organs are external, though it will be awhile till we see. But, just ask my sister and her slightly psychic friend and they will tell you we are having a boy. but, who knows. 

8 comments:

The Strouds said...

Ahh... the joys of being preggo. Those first 3 months were completely... hmm... celebate. But it all changed and I've never felt so sexy as when I was pregnant! It is pretty much just like Racheal on Friends :) Remember those days?

Julie K said...

Reading this makes me excited to give you the pregnancy book I saw at Barnes and Noble (say it in your head with Mom's pronunciation) that I am going to give you. Very instructional.

the binghams. said...

does it have graphic pictures?
I don't know if I can handle anymore of those. the "instructional" is what scares me.

Ashley Wray said...

That sounds like a hilarious book, love the birth control one! Being pregnant is so fun, but I'm so ready to be done! I just want to be able to bend over again! But I totally know what you mean about feeling like you've let yourself go at this point. I just wanted to get a shirt that said, "I'm pregnant not fat!" I'm sure you look adorable though! Anyways, your short hair is cute and I love your baby updates!

Emily said...

Oh I am so glad you like the book. I do really enjoy the part about the birth control. I wonder how many times you will read that book? Oh, I only kid cause I love! I just picked up my sister's dress today for the wedding and Carly's comes in next week. Don't worry, by that point, I just want you to be comfy in a black dress. Love you... EMILY

Megan said...

what a clever book...sound like some needed information!

Jaquilyn Shumate said...

Yay! How exciting! Cute shirt btw!!! ;)

Brooks and Heather Lively said...

I love reading your blog! Thanks for updating it often, it makes me happy! haha. Have you looked at the chinese baby gender chart yet? Supposedly its like 90% accurate. You should check it out and report!